TMZ Needs ME!

Well maybe not me (though that doesn't sounds like a half-bad gig)--but they honestly could use  someone like me.

It seems that increasingly (specifcally over the past year), there have been several times that our #1 source for all things entertainment has seemed quite...well....ill-informed, when it comes to the Latino viewers that are without a doubt, certainly watching their program.

While TMZ routinely offends most people--and they are pretty, pretty, pretty good at it---the one constant is that they turn to their resident Woman, Black, Gay or even Overweight "authority" on the matter with no hesitation.

Except when it comes to Latinos.

When it comes to Latinos, TMZ doesn't seem to have a clue. It's like in the producer's mind--a super famous, super rich, super interesting, Spanish language, Latin celebrity is the stuff of myth and legend..

As if Latino celebrities are like these rare and strange occurrences on which there is very limited information available....

but NEWSFLASH Harvey,

But it's because of things like THIS (and the over 50 million Hispanics in this country) that there has to be be someone in that room who can add this perspective to the general conversation.  I get that it's Entertainment News and there isn't a whole lot of room for the heavy Race conversation, but what about the "light" one.

Again, TMZ seems to be an equal opportunity offender and as far as I am concerned, if it is funny--it's funny.   (Sidenote: your segment on my beloved island of Puerto Rico---NOT funny....at all.)

But in a Pop culture-obsessed newsroom, whose on-air schtick is to be non-PC and moderately offensive to all, it seems necessary to get a fellow Hispano in there to stir the pot, offer the occasional correction/reprimand or simply give a different opinion.

At the very least, it needs to be done so that this special TMZ token Latino can add to the current crew's consistently vague "this guy is a pretty big deal" nonsense....maybe they can even (GASP!) drop some knowledge.

You know what they say....

Like the fact that Mexican Rock Group Mana (you know, the band to which they posed this winner of a question last year) just one month before this segment aired, broke a record with 11 consecutively sold out shows in...no, not Guadalajara but at The Staples Center in LOS ANGELES, CA!

(Los Angeles...also Latino by default, name and history...but we won't go there.)

Then someone (my boyfriend) had to go and burst my bubble by asking me..."Erica, how do you really know there are no Latinos in that newsroom?'

Well....I don't. But if there is and that is a big IF...then it is high time that they chime in with some Latino knowledge. In other words--you better speak up, bro! No tengas miedo, mano.

Now, I do not think there is a Media outlet out there that hasn't recognized the Marketing dream/nightmare that is the Latino audience.

 "Wait...the Puerto Ricans are Liberals, the Cubans are Conservative--but not the ones in NJ..they are a little different. Chicanos, Colombianos, Dominicanos....oh my!"

We get it. We know it isn't easy: we're diverse and geographically different, Red States, Blue States, bla bla bla---you heard it all during election season--but we are a pretty understanding group and trust me--we can see and often appreciate it when you are at least trying to target some of us. And right now--you are failing miserable to include our community into your dialogue.


Not to belabor the point, but seriously...


If majority of your Latinos images are like this: 

And your knowledge of our internationally acclaimed superstar A-listers is like this:

Then it might be time to add some (forgive me), Spice to your newsroom......



See, we have a sense of humor too......

xo

Thank God I didn't post that!

So just before I wrote the post that you will read in a few minutes I think I was in the midst of having some form of a mental breakdown...seriously.

Had I written the ramble of self-doubting and anxious thoughts that have been occasionally occupying my poor, confused, creativity-logged mind lately, someone (probably from my inner-circle) would have called me with concern and quiet judgement.

Instead, I put on TMZ (not kidding) and remembered my best form of defense against that crap is humor, so I bounced back and decided to write something else.

I figure, instead of talking about me on this blog all the time, I would tell you how I feel about some of the tings that gwon' (my Jamaican version "things that go on") in the news lately...

Truth is, I can't tweet or update everything that comes to my head, so in the interest of preventing verbal waste, ladies and gentlemen....some consolidation.

Oh and click here for today's song choice.  

                                                             The Beyonce Come Up
Oh Beyonce Knowles. When you appeared on that stage back in January, dressed in your somewhat inappropriate for a morning event gown and dramatic black eyeliner, we just knew we were in for some serious singing. Pero, pa que fue eso (eloquent Spanish for..."but what was that for?") your trifling-ass, had the nerve to disgrace our country by lip-synching the National Anthem and we were like, seriously pissed about it.

After a secret conversation, that in my head, included Young Hova Ya Heard, Mr. "my opinion still counts" Knowles and an excitable sounding Kanye West (he was on speaker), Beyonce decided to go all acapella on us at the Superbowl press conference--afterwhich everyone promptly piped down.

Fast forward a few days to the afternoon of the actual Superbowl and the American public was already being fed Beyonce-isms (you totally saw that ecard in your newsfeed right?). The hype was moving along, full steam ahead. We began to questions ourselves... to think that maybe we overreacted--I mean it is hard to sing open air and she wasn't feeling well. So maybe we were a little harsh.. and whatever Kelly Clarkson--because you totally can't drop it like Beyonce--she's been wearing heels since 13 or something.

Anyway, we were ready to forgive, ready to break bread--but it was all hinged on the Superbowl halftime show. Thankfully, before we injured ourselves holding in the anticipation, the game hit its' halfway point and the Pepsi gods began counting us down to the impending epic event.

For the next roughly 13.5 minutes we were entranced by a bouncing beauty of thigh muscle, hair and adorable muecas for the camera--oh and she was obviously crooning live. It was full of flash and female kick-assedness, sparkles, wind, smoke, LEATHER and then..... it ended.

We stood there, stunned, trying to comprehend what just happened. Did we just get served? It was clear that somewhere Pitbull stood up from his chair and yelled out TOMA!

Meanwhile, the social media world lost its' shit. Seriously, some rather verbose folks on twitter could only say things like: WOW. OMG. FIRE.

We were speechless and sorry that we ever doubted her awesomeness. We were so impressed we didn't even care that those other two children of Destiny didn't have their mics on...we were still looking at Beyonce's legs wondering if she could crush coconuts with her thighs (at least I was) and thinking of ways to get back on her good side. 

well as we all know, post performance, the lights went out at the Superdome or more accurately put--the ENTIRE Superdome passed out from her greatness.

Coincidence......I think not!



and that ladies and gentlemen, is the "Beyonce Come Up"....

xo....