I Missed You!

Pardon my disappearance, but I was away on business...(aka consecutive happy hours). But now that my binge is over I thought I would treat you all to a small list of things that can really make (or break) your day.

1. People that run across the street while pushing a stroller and directing several small children wearing  knapsacks to "hurry up and run!"

   -While I can appreciate the valuable NYC life lesson on jay-walking that you are teaching your child, there is a considerably inappropriate risk you are taking with the lives of these munchkins. But to be fair, there is something strangely amusing about the chaotic scene you are creating and since it affected me enough that I was compelled to write about it--I say, GO FOR IT! Risk their little lives and give me material in the process.

2. Looking at a possibly pregnant woman smoking a cigarette.
      -Part of you wants to judge her gross and neglectful habit--the other part of you is thinking---damn is she just really overweight? And if so, why is all the fat gathered right there? And most importantly---why doesn't she purchase something with an empire waste so I don't have to wonder for half a block what the truth is?!

3. A sign that reads...buy 1 Beef Patty and get the 2nd for 99 cents!

     -Irie! This can really tickle the fancy of your inner fast-food junkie trying to emerge. But beware: a wise man once said: Beef patty once--stain on me...Beef patty twice--stain on your shorts.

I really did want to give you something more substantial here, especially after my long absence--but I am exhausted from my lackluster day-job...and mi cama me esta llamando...